Singing slip-a-dee-doo-dah?

You Are Entering

A Pronoun-Friendly Zone

Where ME, MYSELF and I are US and THEM and YOU.

Where ME, MYSELF and I are US and THEM and YOU.

Our Customers Connect With Us

Because we connect with them, first and foremost, by respecting who they choose to be and how they wish to be defined.

After all, when you strip everything away, what are you left with?

Besides a bare butt . . .


And just what does that have to do with Nothing. Except for an explicit recognition – on our part – and an obligation to acknowledge and encourage your true and authentic self. Meaning? We bid you, come as you are, warts ‘n all and we will do our best to serve up content and products that suit your wants and desires.

No need to stress about binary vs non-binary.

No need to tease, tempt or titillate.

No need to choose sides.

May Your Nouns - Anthromorhic, Pro Tem, or Otherwise - Never Let You Down!

In theory, it means @, we focus less on relationships, coupling and getting it on with the opposite/same sex. We don’t rule them out. Au contraire. It’s just not our raison d’être in the way that solo sex, masturbation and fapping, together with sex toys, are.

In practice, it means we celebrate diversity in all it various forms. Whether one is  gender-less, gender-woke or gender-ambivalent, all are welcome at

It makes little difference to us, one’s shape, size, color or age – though we do draw the line at minors;*** where you’re coming from; or even how you ended up here.

We’re just glad you found us and now that you’re have, particularly if you are a first time visitor, take a minute or two, and check out the rest of our website or bookmark for future reference.


***We readily acknowledge that most people discover the joys of fapping well before the age of majority, however to avoid any misunderstanding or entanglements with the moral majority and/or the long arm of an over-zealous prosecutor, we don’t do business with, sell to or serve customers under the age of eighteen (18). For that policy to change, you will need to lean on your politicians and get them to enact legislation that better reflects societal expectations. For the time being, it is, what is is. At, as much as we like to think of ourselves as pioneers and crusaders, we are not about to take on the establishment. At least, not yet. Instead, we will continue to work at the level of the individual, with the aim of changing one mind at a time.

SHEware Collection Fall 2021

Browse our collection of toys for her, selected for the kind of “woman” who gets what she wants; when she wants; where she wants. and how she wants.

Pussy Approved

Brands We Trust

Adam and Eve

Blush Novelties


Doc Johnson


Evolved Novelties

Fuck Water

Fun Factory


Gun Oil

Hott Products

ID Lubricants


Kheper Games

Kimono Condoms




Screaming O







Wicked Sensual Caree

Zero Tolerance

Is a Loner w/ a Boner . . . Lonely?

Not a chance @ where flying solo rocks and bad (as in bare) asses rule.

Fap Warez

The products we sell at are divided into four main categories: 1) HEware i.e., Toys for Him; 2) SHEware i.e., Toys for Her; 3) THEEware i.e., Toys for Them; and 4) WEware i,e., Toys for Us. These hand-curated collections are further sub-divided into High-Tech Toys (featuring leading-edge materials and innovative design); Low-Tech Toys (featuring classics and industry standards); and No-Tech Toys (featuring simple, easy to use and manually-operated instruments of pleasure). In addition, we offer detailed Reviews, coupled with a generous Rewards program, to enable, incentivize, and ensure Master Bakers are well-informed and well-served. Finally, as a convenience to our customers, we also provide:

      • Barriers
      • Batteries
      • Hygiene
      • Lubricants
      • Novelties
      • Party Supplies
      • Storage Containers, and
      • Toy Cleaners.



High Tech

Low Tech

No Tech





Fapparazzi LULz & OOH LA LAs

TWF Funnies

the joke’s on us
An illustration of a salami.


You will rue the day if you don’t check out some of our cheeky NSFW* loony toons, drawn by some of the best illustrators in the biz . . .

An illustration of a smiley face with a smile askew.

What the Fap

Toys, Toys, Toys. Take your pick, and fix your dick … you’re not a chick with a prick-ly pair? No problemo. We’ve  got lotsa tempting trix-n-treats for one ‘n all.

An illustration of a smiley face with eyes askew.

WTF Yuk Yuks

If you’re NOT thinking WTF after looking at these uncensored, XXX-rated,  eye-poppers hand-selected to get a rise outta you, we are NOT doing our job!

An illustration of a lascivious looking frog with a pink tongue hanging out.


No harm in looking. Is there? Unless of course . . . you’re at work or church or stuck in line, waiting to vote . . . Sneak a peek, but only if you dare?


The following modifications have been made: 1) filenames have been changed to conform to the naming convention, 2) icon colors have been modified; 3) file formats have been changed from .jpg/.png to .webp; and 4) some of the files have been cropped and resized.

Female-Pearls: Pixabay – lisa runnels (Greyerbaby). Free for commercial use. URL: .

Male-Junk: Pixabay – MadeinItaly. Free for commercial use. URL: .

Female-Window: Max Pixel – Unknown. Free for commercial use. URL: .

Male-Black: Pixabay – by William Adams (covantnyc). Free for commercial use. URL: .

Male-Dark_Sunglasses: Pixabay – Harald Funken (schlappohr). Free for commercial use. URL: .

Female-Sunset: Pixabay – Steve Bidmead (Stevebidmead). Free for commercial use. URL: .

Female-Side: Pixabay – ge by Hùng Việt Nguyễn Thanh (NguyenThanhHungViet). Free for commercial use. URL: .

Female-Buttocks: Pixabay – VoThoGraf. Free for commercial use. URL: .

Male-Blue_Sunglasses: Pixabay – TheProBodyCoach. Free for commercial use. URL: .

Icons: The Noun Project Pro. Licensed and modified for commercial use. URL:

Pro Cured: Pixabay – janjf93-3084263. Free for commercial use. URL: .

What the Fap: Pixabay – Clker-Free-Vector-Images. Free for commercial use. URL: .

WTF Yuk Yuks: Wikimedia – Chris. Public Domain. URL: .

Yukkles: Pixabay – Clker-Free-Vector-Images. Free for commercial use. URL: .